It's Only A Movie (Mark Kermode, 2010)

Mark Kermode has fast become my favourite critic due to his fast paced opinionated rants that make me laugh heartily (with the benefit of an uber quiff I might add). He is a man that has a vehement hatred for Pirates of the Caribbean yet digs the Twilight saga, see Basic Instinct 2 for what it is (a knowing wink at the camera) and was there when Werner Herzog was shot with an air rifle.

His memoir, named after the famous add campaign of Last House on the Left (Keep repeating…It's only a movie…only a movie...), is breezy and very funny, his prose identical to his verbal outbursts on 5 Live. The anecdotes mentioned include getting lost in Russia, his first experience with The Exorcist (his favourite film), being thrown out of the Cannes screening of Lars Von Triers' The Idiots whilst hurling obscenities in bad French and, of course, witnessing Werner Herzog getting shot, all of which is funny and self referential.

It's a little too breezy to be great but I don't think I've had so much fun reading a book in a long while. Thank-you Dr. Kermode…and Jason Issacs.

4/5

Coldheart Canyon (Clive Barker, 2001)

Much like Barker's last novel, 2007's Mister B. Gone, Coldheart Canyon suffers from writing that is sub-par compared to most of the author's earlier work. It is a book in desperate need of editing down and touching up as, despite being far from bad (in actual fact I enjoyed the hell out of it), at times it comes off as infantile, akin to the over active imagination of a teenager.

It also suffers in it's length. Unlike The Great and Secret Show (which, whilst being long, somewhat justified being epic), Canyon does not have enough ideas to warrant a length of 751 pages, thus, by page 300, it has slowed to a crawl. Barker spends needless time detailing the debauchery the Canyon has fallen into, where orgies are common place as well as extreme sadomasochism. The detail is beyond graphic. Barker clearly revels in his hedonistic side here but, in terms of serving the story, it does not further the plot in any way, making it's inclusion unnecessary.

That said, if you can muscle your way passed this 200 page lull, the rest is a belter. One thing Barker is an expert at is setting up and ending his stories, spending enough time on both that, once the novel comes to a close, there is a great wave of satisfaction. The build up to said climax is terrific and once the reader is passed the debauchery, the plot lets rip with chases and skirmishes aplenty. The story progresses naturally and whilst there is still Barker's trademark flair for gore (one poor soul has her vagina ripped open), it does not hinder the experience.

I have, however, had enough of Barker for the time being. Just looking at my copy of Imajica, a mammoth undertaking at 1200+ pages, is somewhat disconcerting.

4/5

Just After Sunset (Stephen King, 2008)

Just looking back at this blog shows me how much Stephen King I tend to read. There’s something about him that his writing, even the relatively bad stuff, that makes you keep reading.

This collection of short stories doesn’t have anything nearly as memorable as, say, The Mist, The Raft or 1408 but what is here is consistent and thoroughly enjoyable. Stand-outs include Willa (and non-horror story featuring ghosts), Graduation Afternoon, Rest Stop and N. (the latter of which s deeply disturbing).

I’m just happy to see that King is back to is old self again. Gone is the workman-like writing that plagued his post-accident work and back is a writer who has almost returned to full form.

His newest novella Blockade Billy is in the post and I’m awaiting his next book, a series of four short novels called Full Dark, No Stars with glee.

4/5